in-progress

Hammer

2012-01-25T14:04:00.000-08:00

I have finished the hammer... 95%. A few more details, but close enough to photograph.

hammer, 2012, carbon fiber and alloy, 44" X 10"

detail

hammer, 2012, carbon fiber and alloy, 44" X 10"

detail

hammer, 2012, carbon fiber and alloy, 44" X 10"

detail

hammer, 2012, carbon fiber and alloy, 44" X 10"

detail

The carbon fiber sculpture part worked out nicely. I added 7 thin layers of polyurethane over the epoxy. I was having a hard time getting it finished. I sanded it down to a 2000 grit and it still was hazy. Then I switched to Novus plastic polish #2 and that did the trick!

Just for the record, here was the hammer's beginning post

the fourth times a charm

2012-01-19T15:00:00.000-08:00

melting alloy again

not quite right, melt it again

I poured the molten metal a 3rd time last night, and still did not get what I wanted. The execution of this project is really consuming. I am hoping today, I made a good cast.

Johnny works with one hammer

2012-01-10T14:46:00.000-08:00

hammer in progress. The line is where I ran out of alloy. I melted down an alloy heart I made and it still was not enough; it is missing on whole finger and a couple of knuckles.

carbon fiber sledge hammer in progress; getting closer to completion.

cutting out the plaster hands from the platinum cure silicone mold

platinum cure silicone mold

platinum cure silicone mold showing pour hole and air holes

my jig for pouring the mold and then for housing the mold when I pour in the alloy

I made a few mistakes in the mold making process. Luckily everything is fairly forgiving technically and I am able to overcome the flaws. When making the mold, I created a good solid box. I created the pour hole with plasticine, as well as the air gaps. It was a monumental struggle to get things to line up correctly. I had to turn the model over to brush the silicone on what was going to be the bottom, then line up the air gaps. Everything was sticky from the silicone and nothing seemed to be working. In the future, I am going to take the hanger wire I used for the air gaps, and permanently attach them to the model, instead of attaching them to the base. Cutting the model out of the mold was equally daunting. This stuff is pretty stiff and I used thick walls. I needed about 8 more forearms to get the job done. All the while, my son kept asking me to help him with his Lego model. I would cut a little bit, and help him with a part. Then I would look and scrutinize where the next cut would be and then play with him again.

What is the role of family and specifically kids, in art? There is the saying we have all hear countless times that artists should not have families and should just focus on creating. Most of the time, I feel my greatest creation is my son. As far as artworks teaching us, I have learned the most from raising him. The writers from the TV show northern exposure (1990's) posed this question stemming around the dilemma of a burning house. When face with one's imminent escape from a burning house and the ability to save one thing, would it be the family pet or a Rembrant painting (supposing one has a Rembrant and a pet). They posited that naturally one would save the living thing. At the time I did not get it. I was 20ish and art was everything. It superseded life, the quality of life. It seemed like this thing that was the extreme of importance. Now it seems unconscionable that I would not choose to save the cat or dog or what ever. I think now, while creating art still burdens my mind when I am not doing it, and still causes anxiety while I am away from it, I see it for what it is. Art is the expression of the human; it is not the human itself. The human is the important aspect, not the artwork.

carbon fiber sculpture, alloy casting, platinum cure mold making, philosophical ravings

be prepared to give

2012-01-05T14:33:00.000-08:00

Post it notes to myself, which I feel compelled to write down for fear of forgetting

hammer - progress update

2011-12-18T11:30:00.000-08:00

hammer - in progress

As I work on the carbon fiber handle, I am realizing that I am not working very smart. I have been applying epoxy resin, then sanding and applying more, and sanding. Rinse / repeat. Since this has been a teach myself project, I am repeating some of the same steps and not moving forward. Now, I am going to move from the epoxy phase; and, just put some top coats on. It has been structurally sound for a while now, so I am dealing with finish aesthetics.

I have also decided to change the orientation of the fists. This means that the two prototypes I made in plaster, need to be remade. The one in the above image, is the fist set I use to carry around and visualize how to make the mold and pour the metal. The second set I made as the final, but now that the fist will be oriented differently (as they are in the above image) I need to remake them with the handle hole on the other side. This puts me back a couple days.

The idea sprung from anger straight out of a dream; yet the sculpture took form with the complete idea, with the referencing of Brancusi to talk about transcendence of materiality as an alternative solution of the blunt instrument of force and anger.

more carbon fiber trails and tribulations

2011-11-22T14:53:00.001-08:00

patterns to cut carbon

first layer of carbon fiber lay-up - seven sections -some sections wrapped 3 times around

second layer of carbon showing

second layer of carbon

Laying up the carbon fiber sculpture has been a bit of trouble. I cannot get the seam to lay perfectly. The strands and stiff and want to come undone. I am adding a 3rd over all layer to try to get the seam to match up just so.

statement

2011-11-11T21:14:00.001-08:00

One of my main areas of interest is the human condition, full of desires, needs, and outside influences. How this corporeal nature intersects with the intellect, with its breakthrough potential continues to fascinate me. I use photography and sculpture while addressing these fundamental concerns. The enduring possibilities of growth in a number of realms inspire my work.

from a dream

2011-11-08T16:25:00.000-08:00

plaster casts for the double sledge hammer

expandable foam poured into tube mold

expandable foam that broke because I did not have enough release wax

foam plug close to finished

carbon fiber experiments

hammer in plaster and foam

I woke from a dream still staring into that make believe world. In it I was wielding a sledge hammer, its head made of two fists. I was angry and I felt the worlds anger. I was smashing holes in wall, holes from my childhood, holes like my sister made in doors and wall, when we were much younger and she lost control - holes like her son made in those same walls 20 years later.

I woke up still feeling anger, drawn to the idea of giving power to those who wanted to break down walls but did not have the strength. I got out of bed in the middle of the nite to sketch. I put down a simple infinity symbol for the fists and an elongated infinity for the handle and crawled back under the covers.

The next day cast my fists to sketch the idea out in plaster. In the mean time, I contemplated the handle. Whether or not a wooden handle was right; or perhaps, I could find a beat up old handle. I envisioned an ax handle, in fact, liking the curves. Intellectually it did not seem correct. It wasn't just a sledge hammer, it was a spiritual tool, a tool to combat inequality. I set about addressing the handle.

This hammer had to be a dream implement to empower the vulnerable. I thought of Brancusi's bird in space, with its upward movement and his aspirations. I am referencing him with the handle, his spiritual longings our shared transcendental desires to overcome materialism. The hammer head will be made from alloy like a 10 pound sledge hammer and the handle made of carbon fiber, bullet proof - 8 times stronger than steel, alluding to strength, anger and overcoming. This form also includes this narrow section bringing in the doubt of weakness; the feeling the odds are stacked against us.

Working, I use a abs plastic pipe as a mold for the expanding foam that will be the plug for the handle. An important side note: use wax as a release for the foam. I ruined the first mold because I could not get the foam out (also saran wrap works great). I rough carved the handle with a razor knife, then used files to get the shape I wanted.

I just cut out the hole for the handle to fit into the hands. Next: the carbon fiber!

[then casting the mold for the hands, then casting the hands in alloy, then...]

Pick me

2011-10-25T16:12:00.001-07:00

Pick me: 30" X 40" acrylic, pigment, charcoal on tag with attachment and UV inhibitor.

2nd law of thermodynamics

2011-10-14T13:58:00.000-07:00

These pieces started with a few panels from the past I printed with the ruler / months & dates indicating a growth chart for a child. I always liked these markings and what fascinated me the most was how the lines stopped. There is a finality to it. I chose December 22nd to end the dates because that was when the giant tsunami occurred. It was such a sudden loss, another finality. The panels languished there in that state.

I had another idea about how complex a system humans are. That we broke the second law of thermodynamics by existing, by becoming more complex. We unscrambled the egg, so to speak, becoming more orderly, organizing chaos from the sun, energy from the surrounding earth. Perhaps this is possible proof of God's existence. So what about war, or the death of children. Is this proof the other way?

The marking of time and complexity of our limited life is the basis for these works. The process is Gum Dichromate (or gum bichromate). They are photographs but instead of silver based the image is made up of water color pigments.

2nd law (1a) - multiple gum printings on panel

if not to show you my nothingness, then what am I good for

2011-09-26T22:29:00.000-07:00

if not to show you my nothingness, then what am i good for (mine)

detail of "if not to show you my nothingness, then what am i good for"

if not to show you my nothingness, then what am i good for (mystuff)

Commerce and consumerism as it relates to human psychology is very interesting to me. Money and things, how we get them and how we keep them; and mostly, how we desire them, is woven into the fabric of society. One’s self importance can be justified by their ability to provide for themselves and their family. A better pair of boots for you and a newer pair of sneakers for your child proves the power position you hold. A better house, a newer car, and higher earning capacity provide your stature. No matter how much this is understood intellectually, it is virtually impossible to escape from spending habits and the desire for more. I have everything I need; yet, a new camera would be nice… I believe the desire comes from a deeper emptiness.

The title ‘if not to show you my nothingness then what am I good for’ is a paraphrase from a response by the mystic Rumi to a young pilgrim. Rumi is teaching his student that everything is part of the divine presence. Then Rumi talks about nothingness, that you cannot be a part of everything until you lose all of your projected baggage. With this work, I am saying that a container ship filled with goods cannot satisfy that desire and emptiness in a person. Only when we see our nothingness will we acquire some semblance of peace and gain everything.

It was stained with blood

2011-08-22T23:33:00.000-07:00

The show, Manifest 770 has a theme based around the site-specific history of the Incline Gallery, namely its past usage as a morgue, with the exhibit being centered on Death. When asked to participate, I immediately thought of some chrysalis forms I photographed a short time prior. I had noticed the insect left a stain of blood as it transformed into a chrysalis. Again as it emerged a butterfly, blood pooled and colored the spot where it landed for the first time. This was my starting point, life and death intertwined, a metaphor for transformation and metamorphosis.

To push these ideas I use the time freezing nature of the photograph; the chrysalis frozen in its current state, a little death- the viewer not knowing if the cycle continues. In addition, I am making photographs that push and expand the notion of what a photograph is. Utilizing a process that dates back to the late 1800’s, called the gum dichromate process, I mix three elements: gum Arabic, dichromate and watercolor pigment. When mixed together they become fixed to the surface in proportion to the sunlight it receives. This is a contact printing method, where a negative the same size as the final image is laid on the panel. In this case, the negative is 15 inches by 11 inches.

The artwork begins with a wood panel and I build up coats of traditional ground made up of rabbit skin glue, marble dust and titanium dioxide. Upon the final prepared ground surface, I paint on a light sensitive mixture of gum, dichromate and a chosen watercolor pigment. Once dry, I lay the negative on the surface and expose everything to light then wash it. Once dry again, I repeat for the application of different colors. Many times, I will repeat the same color over to achieve a deeper tone. I also exploit the nature of the process to produce drips and washes. Lastly, I protect the surface through multiple layers of UV varnish. Since the final image is made up of only pigment and Gum Arabic, this process is extremely light stable.

Storm coming

2011-06-23T15:39:00.000-07:00

there has always been a storm on the horizon

We are born into this

2011-06-14T13:48:00.000-07:00

Molotov heart

The wick on the molotov is made from the swaddling blanket new parents receive when taking their child home from the hospital for the first time. There is an

On the wick of this molotov is the impression of a mans face.

rain

2011-04-13T10:13:00.000-07:00

I left the pedestal out in the rain. I put a new bottom on it, so I could use it horizontally, then primed it with white paint. The days got away from me and it sat in the back yard for two days, untouched. This morning it happened, a downpour. By 9 am, I got out and moved it into a dry space. I did not really want to examine for damage; however, I see some bubbling of paint. I wonder is it a sign from God or the universe telling me... something. I have been convincing myself back and forth as to wether or not to include the individual molotov sculptures. Some I like, some are stronger than others; and wondering, if it is just commerce, showing less expensive objects. As if laziness or forgetfulness could be a sign from the Universe.
I did see two more things the following half hour. In the rain drenched street, purple reflected from the meridian flowers. I sat at the red light waiting, looking at that strip of purple as the kids in the back seat played a video game on my phone. After dropping them off and walking back to the studio up the back stairs, I saw steam rising off the banister. I noticed it and moved on up the steps. It was visible only at a shallow angle, and disappeared with the next step. Two steps up it caught my mind and I had to walk back down looking for it again. So simple, no big deal; yet, there it was, the inner workings.

armament

2011-04-11T21:01:00.000-07:00

I created this work, inspired by the Egyptians and the so called Arab spring. The visual starting point is the molotov cocktail that has been the weapon of choice for the protesters. There is a connection in any conflict between the combatants.

Group exhibit

2011-04-01T18:30:00.000-07:00

I have a sculptural piece in the group exhibit Control @ Gallery 454. Check it out if you can. I will post an image of the sculpture a little later.

The other side of the clouds

2011-03-30T11:57:00.001-07:00

For Lucille Baker

wanting to see clouds in the blue sky

2011-03-29T21:58:00.000-07:00

molotov cocktail

2011-03-18T17:21:00.000-07:00

molotov cocktail

I like this image better for the starting point.

rawhide and concrete

2011-03-15T12:39:00.000-07:00

to carry your broken heart: casualties -soldiers age 18-19

materials: rawhide, thread, concrete, wax

454 gallery North Beach

2011-03-04T15:28:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines day

2011-02-14T18:21:00.001-08:00

sidewalk chalk

2011-02-14T12:09:00.000-08:00

sculpting plasticine

sidewalk chalk

The process of this casting starts by sculpting a plasticine model. Once that is complete, I create a rubber mold, which is the negative space. I then can cast copies of that original model in a variety of materials. I am casting this in sidewalk chalk.
This form is interesting to me as I changed the anatomical heart some by squeezing the top. This left my finger imprints on the top and a squished, flattened feel to the back.

more heart

2011-01-26T13:34:00.000-08:00

Another anatomical heart, this time I added some more arteries and such. It is the first step, molded and carved from a lump of plasticine.

Virginia is for lovers

2011-01-21T14:56:00.000-08:00

for rent in Richmond, VA

Sally Man exhibit poster

Robert Morris sculpture from the 70's

some work

iron barrel

blowing leaves

missing

snap shot from side of road

view from side of road

hauling

what I am attracted to

highway 64 viewpoint 1

highway 64 viewpoint 2

highway 64 viewpoint 3

I traveled to Virginia for a few days for an exhibit opening. It was refreshing to travel by myself for an extended moment. It is funny what comes rushing into the void one makes when cleaning up the self.

James Madison University, VA

2011-01-20T12:18:00.000-08:00

The show turned out well. I think the highlight was the Q and A that was set up with some of the Art students, mostly from the photography department. There were college kids from about 3 classes outside the gallery, sitting on the floor and standing up in back and on the sides. There were some really insightful questions. I tried to keep my composure and answer as directly as possible, though everything was off the cuff.

Then there was a smaller gallery talk with a class called 'magic and illusion' run out of the photography department. We sat on the gallery floor, and talked about all sorts of things. At one point, after being asked what I am working on now, I got going on a political rant. Only afterward, did I realize this was taboo in a college classroom setting.

That evening was the gallery show. It was fun and interesting, in that since it was an academic affair, there was no alcohol. It was the first time that has ever happened, and was quite lovely.

the self and others

2011-01-14T14:28:00.000-08:00

god lover her children 2

lost and found

2011-01-13T11:17:00.000-08:00

god lovers her children 1

I will have to make the best of it.

Works in JMU exhibit

2011-01-11T14:43:00.000-08:00

dailiness: BLAST

dailiness: FEAR AND FRUSTRATION

dailiness: HELP

dailiness: never at Peace

I am including these four Gum Dichromate images in the JMU Exhibit. I separated them from the other images as I think it would be interesting to compare them to the first of the edition. These are 2 of 3. Here is the link: 1/3 edition

1-11-11

2011-01-11T11:38:00.000-08:00

I went to find some images from 3 years ago, as I had an idea about how to use them. I could only find half the images! I searched all night and all morning for them, even using a data recovery program. I don't know where they are, nor why they would not be in the folder with the rest of the images. Needless to say, I am not in the best spirits today.

I will leave you with an image I did find. It is from a tootsie pop. We used to think as kids that if we found a wrapper with this image on it, and sent it in, that we would get a toy.

A exhibit at James Madison University in VA

2011-01-10T15:56:00.000-08:00

When I cannot get to the ocean I will close my eyes and think of you

2010-12-17T15:05:00.000-08:00

Cleaning up brings some peace

2010-12-17T14:23:00.000-08:00

portrait updated

2010-11-18T10:12:00.000-08:00

Here is portrait 2 in its final stage.

segment test

2010-10-01T18:20:00.000-07:00

They are printings from the negative of a much larger picture.

These are not finished, but close...ish. I want to add a more layers, which may alter them dramatically.

I think I am ready to commit to the larger image. While these are not quite resolved I believe I can work it out in the larger image

heros

2010-08-14T13:03:00.001-07:00

I am putting stuff back into my studio, after the renovation, and found this little ditty. I pulled it from a stack of older work. I realized I did not like the way it was stretched onto the bars. It is a Van Dyke type on raw canvas, with some applied acrylic. I dismantled the pieces and mounted it on panel, using the original bars as support.

still with the panel

2010-06-04T16:20:00.000-07:00

First coat of traditional ground and it still looks thin and streaky. I waited a couple hours and put on the second coat. Looks pretty much the same. I guess it will take around 10 coats! We will see. I never counted, so this time I will do it scientifically and keep track. So, 2 and counting.

step one

2010-06-03T11:18:00.000-07:00

Since I am starting a new piece I will follow it from somewhere towards the beginning. It seems I am constantly at the beginning. So, cut a panel to size. These are 42" X 29" X 1/2" - 7 layer panels. Then coat both sides with a polyurethane, two coats. This seals up the panels. Next I coat the panel with the rabbit skin glue I make. I use a ratio of 1:12 hide to water. Soak the glue over night, then heat in a double boiler till it turns milky. I will coat it a second time with glue to make sure the surface is covered evenly. Sometimes things do not stick to the poly very well.

In the mean time, I am working on the image. I photographed the concept and imported it into photoshop to clean it up some; and to hem and haw over it. I am happy to be working on the panel as it gets me away from the image; and, makes me work with my hands.

new home for the rubber band

2010-05-25T19:37:00.001-07:00

I hope this will be the final version of: binding you to me, the rubber band heart.

And this is its new home

Headlands center apps due

2010-05-24T22:30:00.000-07:00

Heart clutch 5 and a detail showing the final double-reverse-spiral bandage wrapping. The Headlands AIR apps are due soon and I finally made the deadline this year.

couplet

2010-05-13T20:55:00.000-07:00

three hearts one bomb

2010-05-11T17:21:00.001-07:00

hot wax

2010-04-29T12:45:00.001-07:00

ahh the joys of casting in beeswax.

Bakersfield Museum of Art - everyday garden

2010-04-28T12:13:00.000-07:00

Francis Baker's exhibit: the everyday garden at the Bakersfield Museum of Art. This exhibit runs from March 11th to May 23, 2010

double reverse spiral bandage

2010-04-20T13:54:00.000-07:00

I got to thinking about the purple heart clutch and thought that the rubber banded heart did not quite fit what I was thinking. I cast another and burned it, and today bandaged it up. These pictures are from the first try. I am in the process of undoing them. I like the way they look so I had to archive their image. This is called a double reverse spiral bandage. It is a double because there is a reversal on the front and the back do to the shape of the heart. The reverse is where there is a little V forming in the bandaging. I am changing this outcome, so the reverse is down the dead center of the heart, so it can be seen when it is hanging in the clutch with the zipper open.

no crying in teddy bear town

2010-04-07T13:59:00.000-07:00

I made this image to donate to Leo's preschool auction. It is a 7 layer multiple gum dichromate on traditional ground. I like it. I got to a point where I was happy then added one more shadow layer. I could have put down more. Maybe a reddish- brown top coat.

study for: the dailyness

2010-04-06T13:29:00.000-07:00

I have been working more with the Gum dichromate process.

On three of these, I used chinese white to achieve a soft grey.
I finally glued on the glass to the printing frame I made!

thoughts on who I am as an artist (as requested)

2010-03-08T12:51:00.001-08:00

Creating is an extension of concepts, philosophy, dreams. While beauty is important to me and something I strive for, it does not guide me. When there is truth in a subject I see the beauty in it. Human-ness is beautiful to me. Through my work I confront elements of myself, elements of human nature, which have become me, yet are not fundamental to me; things I have taken on in pursuing happiness, yet have ultimately been obstacles to this sense of peace. Other things, like fear. Art is a struggle with invisible chains. Art is also complete freedom and a way to freedom.
Art is action, art is meditation, art is striving for perfection you know may never arrive. When I take a breath with meaning, I realize the importance and non-importance of the things surrounding me. Then a walk becomes my art practice. Cleaning my studio becomes my art practice. Watering plants becomes my art practice. When I take breath after breath with meaning, I have no use to go further than that moment; but, there is a world out there, real and not real. The world out there shapes us, tries to shape us. Art is a battering ram against the forces of the world trying to mold me into...what... into a mindless participant. Ok, Alright, that is enough for now, I have to get back to work.

Keepers of the light

2010-03-08T12:09:00.001-08:00

I have to profess my gratitude towards the author of this book: William Crawford.

I have been reading and re-reading this book for years. It is really just a collection of pages now, as the binding gave out long ago.

There are sections on history; as well as, sections on how to; like a great cookbook.

how to set up the weight of a human heart

2010-02-26T10:57:00.000-08:00

instructional video on how to set this up.

Back to the drawing board, redux

2010-02-23T14:32:00.000-08:00

I shipped 20 boxes down to Bakersfield for the exhibit.

Now, it is back to the drawing board. I had about a half day post-pardum procrastination. Some might say I am still procrastinating.. I see it as going back to the drawing board. Working on the blog, the web and eventually actually some tangible things!

the weight of the human heart

2010-02-12T12:51:00.001-08:00

I am photographing this sculpture. It is always a difficult process as sculpture is meant to be viewed all around... a composite of 360 degrees (or close) of viewing. In any case here are a couple angles. The title is: The weight of the human heart. The materials are wax, both bees wax and bronzing wax, acrylic, silver, and organic material.

The subtitle refers to the fact that this sculpture is balanced at the pivot point as a simple scale, the tray on one side, the root angel on the other. The more hearts there are, the higher the angle of the angel. When there are less hearts, the angel plummets down.

filling your heart with fetish

2009-12-15T13:32:00.000-08:00

I got the latex and rubber heart and container back from Basel and New York.

I was not happy with the way the latex container lay when the heart was not in it... it looked like a deflated ballon. I tweaked it, changing a panel and adding another panel. I also changed the straps. While i liked the surgical tubing I had been using... it seemed too readymade. I made new straps out of deep red latex. This is working on a couple of different levels.

calf skin vellum

2009-09-17T17:00:00.001-07:00

The burned heart gets the calf skin vellum to contain it.

calfskin, sterling findings, thread, Hydrocal, wax

seal

2009-09-17T11:33:00.000-07:00

I kept the straps apart, not attaching the fronts to the backs as I did with all the rest. I like the way they lie there with lassitude or having just given up; yet, all dressed up and shining. The presentation will then be different. Again, I think this works to the advantage of the piece... breaking the monotony created by the rest of the hanging containers.

9.9.09

2009-09-10T11:30:00.000-07:00

date completed 9.9.09
materials: baby seal fur (vintage), thread, sterling silver

back to the drawing board

2009-09-08T13:29:00.000-07:00

I went back to the pattern for the next heart-container I am making. The material is calf vellum and I wanted to add a few more articulations to it. There is now 11 pieces to the pattern, where in the original there was 9. This being said, I added 10 then 11 respectively to the F3 felt and the baby seal.

seal container

2009-09-04T14:01:00.001-07:00

The carrier - container I am making now is from vintage baby seal.

This is still in progress as I have not put on the straps. I am going slightly closer to the fashion end with the straps and the closing system. The clasps are a sterling magnet system and the straps will be braided sterling mesh. The continued use of furs in the fashion industry is an easy read for this one. I do not need to delve into the heatbreaking nature of this too much here as there is great information already on the PETA website and others listed below. There is a very informative video about the fur trade in China, for example.

some helpful links for the interested:

http://www.fashionwindows.com/room_service/2006/06010.asp

http://www.harpseals.org/

http://www.all-creatures.org/articles/act.html

http://www.all-creatures.org/anex/seal.html

http://www.peta.org/

http://www.hsus.org/protectseals.html

looking through poems for a line

2009-07-20T10:59:00.000-07:00

from the writer's almanac from public radio.org

here is a good one:

Meditation on Ruin
by Jay Hopler
It's not the lost lover that brings us to ruin, or the barroom brawl,
or the con game gone bad, or the beating
Taken in the alleyway. But the lost car keys,
The broken shoelace,
The overcharge at the gas pump
Which we broach without comment — these are the things that
eat away at life, these constant vibrations
In the web of the unremarkable.

The death of a father — the death of the mother —
The sudden loss shocks the living flesh alive! But the broken
pair of glasses,
The tear in the trousers,
These begin an ache behind the eyes.
And it's this ache to which we will ourselves
Oblivious. We are oblivious. Then, one morning—there's a
crack in the water glass —we wake to find ourselves undone.

this is the one I was looking for, having heard it many months before, a line got stuck in my head:

Return I
by Elisabeth Stevens
When I am traveling,
hurrying hundreds of miles
in trains or by car,
I pass houses
where we once lived.

All those places
once seemed permanent, immutable,
part of our marriage, home.
Now they are abandoned stage sets,
insubstantial cardboard and canvas.

Like clothes sent to the thrift shop,
there were lives that we left behind—
just like taking out the garbage,
dropping it in the can,
slamming the lid.

I return as a tourist to
our old lives. Speeding by,
I see our first roof top through
a soot-marked window. I could walk there
from the station. I do not get off the train.

When I have the car,
I park down the block from
another place and keep the motor running.
I see tulips whose bulbs I held,
brown and flaky in my palm.

Without moving,
I cross the lawn like a specter,
ring the bell like a prankster, run away.
The house has been painted
a different color. The swing set is gone.

At the country place, our last,
I stop behind the privet hedge you planted
to see your tree. Set out in September when
you'd measured your last summer's sun,
it now shades the terrace, just as you'd planned.

When you died, I thought of
putting your ashes under your tree.
Instead, the summer after,
I sat out alone in the evenings,
waiting, listening to the leaves.

I still have your car, our child,
the dog, and some of the money.
The cat, the rabbits and the goldfish
are gone. I release the brake.
Driving quickly, I take a familiar road.

I do not see anyone we knew.
"Return I" by Elisabeth Stevens, from Household Words. © Three Conditions Press, 2000.

The line that got stuck was the bit about the garbage.

f3

2009-07-14T12:26:00.000-07:00

As I finish the f3 felt heart bag, I think about Bourriaud's concepts of relational aesthetics, "...ways of living and models of action within the existing real..." and "learning to inhabit the world in a better way". Yes this is everywhere now, and not surprisingly new in 2002 when it was written; yet, it sums up what I am working towards. A better way to move forward... sometimes even just a way. It is fraught with emotion and that cannot be separated out, yet emotion is part of the problem. To surmount and transcend...

felt

2009-07-09T10:53:00.000-07:00

I was thinking last night about memory... not specific ones; more acts of memory. The hand remembers where it was when placing the needle. Taking a photograph is an action of memory. Creation, I don't know if all creation is an act of memory; yet this one sure is. Getting it down. Putting it in its place so it can be handled, examined.

from the ash

2009-06-09T16:34:00.000-07:00

civilian deaths as a result of burns 2003, Iraqi
abas mosa alewe
abas zore agel
Abass alewy thahe al-masudy
ael gasem manaa
ahmed aesa mosa
ahmed amaar abed
Akel saleem marzuk al-masudy
akel slem mrzok alsawde
Ali abd al-amer mansur al-nasrawy
anwar kathem hashem alasbae
auob kathem hashem alasbae
bashar braim omran
basheer khamis falih
bshaar ali kathem alasbae
ehea nama ased grah
frsa gwad kathem alasbae
flah mahdi ali alzhere
gasem mhmed theban alkfage
gbar sn hamed
ghad glel ktran
gwad kathem abed hswn
hagert abd alabas abd alrzak abod

hasan kalb thgel
hasan slem mrzok alsaode
hdea kathem mhasan
heder ahmed aedan
heder hamed sahb naef
heder mhmed hson abrahem
hmod hmand gmrat almoswe
hnade ali kathem alasbae
hsen abas hsen alhasanawe
hsen abd shmke
hsen daawd salem kabe
Jeria hussen obead al-daamy
kasem mhmed mosa
kasem thbab naef amad alshmre
kathem ali alftlawe
kathem hashem mhmed alasbae
kathem jwad mnfe
kazem farhood Abdullah
kder mhmed usef
ksay nama thamer
magda slman rsn shnawa aldaene
maneaa thamer shadhaan
methak abrahem abd retkak almsawde
Methak ibrahem abwd al-masudy
methak kamel atshan
mhmed ali kathem alasbae
mhmed kshash hasan
mhmed nama mkef
mhmed rathe sahb naef
mhmed thamer fwaze
mntther usef falh
Mohamad obaed thahe al-masudy
mstfa hasan twfek
ngah mhmed bder almsode
nhaea alewe hmat
nsera shref shmke
ogal gwad kathem alas
Raja kathom hussen al-masudy
rhman shref shmke
Rna Sadek Hsen Al Hsene
saad gwad kathem
same hbs alhedre
sbah hasan mhmod al nage
slema
slema sadwn hashem alasbae
tmatha kathem hashem alasbae
yosef saber hatihut al-jashamy

Scope Basel

2009-06-08T13:21:00.000-07:00

I have a piece up now in Switzerland, at the Basel art show called Scope. I am making this piece as a multiple. This one is 1 of 3.

451 F

2009-05-13T11:27:00.000-07:00

burned

2009-05-13T10:50:00.000-07:00

adding a few more details

2009-04-24T10:10:00.000-07:00

Added a mixture of waxes, some with titanium white to fill in the names and add some contrast. It is interesting to me, that in flat light the white wax increases the contrast, making the engraved names pop whiter. Yet, in a side specular light, the sculpture without any fill in the engravings has more contrast, because shadows form.

engraved on my heart

2009-04-01T09:41:00.000-07:00

civilian war casualties, Iraq - 2003, under age of 5
Abas Zore Agel through Mntther Heder Saed

A poem I heard and want to remember

2009-03-26T10:02:00.000-07:00

A REAL MAN - by Ivor Cutler.

When I was 12 I wanted to be a real
man - an old man with a beard,
sitting at a table with a huge book
full of wisdom. And what did society
hold up to me for my admiration?
A golfer, a boxer, a man who ran
quickly; a soldier, a lawyer, a tycoon;
a motorist, a pop star; a footballer.
Into what kind of madhouse had I
been born? And what have I
become? A child, witlessly pouring
out whatever enters my head. I am
a madman and people gather to
listen to me make a fool of myself.
I am not a role model. This is my
protection and my security. I still
long for the table and the book, the
smell of an old man and an old book;
the afternoon light fading

it continues

2009-03-25T21:06:00.000-07:00

Iraqi civilian war casualties under age of 10 , 2003 recorded only

2009-03-25T10:00:00.000-07:00

Aamaed mustafa hameed 7 child bomb
Aaysa yahyaa ali 12 bullet
Abaas abed al-Husien jabaar 9 missile
Abas zore agel 5 burns
Abd ala hsen lelo 4 shrapnel
Abed ala raja'a abed 3 bullet
Abed alla haythem laazem 9 missile, head injury
Abrrar abdalla abed al-wahed 7 missile
Aeat hmed hade unes 8 aircraft attack
Aeman fathel alialkabe 6 shrapnel
Afrah hashem bkma 9 shrapnel
Ahmad mohamad amwre awaynat 6 missle attack
Ahmed amaar abed 2 burns
Ahmed glel salm dhsh algorane 8 shrapnel
Ahmed naser al-deen armash 9 missile
Ahmed rhem kathem 9 shrapnel
Ahmed saber salih 5 bullet
Ahmed sadek abd alhsen 14 shrapnel
Akel mahdi alkfage 7 shrapnel
Akram abaas nahi 10 bomb
Akram kathom jawad kathom abass 7 missle attack
Alaa muneer jabbar 4 shrapnel
Aleaa saad abd alrzak 10 tank attack
Ali abd alrzak mfte 12 tank attack
Alaa muneer jabbar 4 shrapnel
Ali hussain majeed 5 Bomb
Ali mahdi hashish 7 shrapnel
Ali shaker abed al-hassan 4 missile
Ali talb gwad abas eight months shrapnel
Alk mhmed hgem alarean 4 burns
Amar Mohamed 3 missile
Amer dakel kzaal alkfage 9 burns
Amer magd kasem rheb altmeme 7 aircraft attack
Amjed ayad maryash 7 bullet
Amjed thamer abed al-wahed 7 shrapnel
Ashref katjhem gasem 5 shrapnel
Asmaael ohab asmaael 5 shrapnel
Asraa mtlob gasm aljore 7 shrapnel
Atbaak abed al-Husien jabaar 6 missile
Aumar mahamed jaasem eight month bomb
Bnen hsen gasem alkefake 6 shrapnel
Bnet hmed hade unes two months shrapnel
Easer farwk fwad alkfage 2 shrapnel
Ehea ali abrahem 7 shrapnel
Falah hasun 9 shrapnel
Fatma aesa atea albsare 4 tank attack
Fatma khalel nine months missile
Fatmaa hamzaa taleb 6 missile
Fatmaa shaker abed al-hassan 5 missile
Fazeel yakoob yuseef al sadoon 6 shrapnel
Frsa gwad kathem alasbae one month burns
Gasem mhmed hmod gmrat almoswe 4 shrapnel
Gead hasan gwad alaskrat 7 shrapnel
Gmal atran abrahem8 aircraft attack
Gmal ktran abrahem alzergawe6 shrapnel
Hager abd alabas abd alrzak alknane 6 shrapnel
Hagert abd alabas abd alrzak abod 6 burns
Haider ali khelaan 3 shrapnel
Haider saddam 9 sliver in abdomen
Hanan trky aoda 3 shrapnel
Hasan fathel kret mhnd 9 shrapnel
Hasan heder saed 2 shrapnel
Hashem ali hirat 9 tank attack
Hassan ali saddam 8 bomb
Hba shhab ahmed alflahe 4 shrapnel
Hder kald uones alzbde shrapnel
Heder ali abrahem 1 shrapnel
Heder gwad shrge alarthe 3 tank attack
Hend ali abed alrahman 5 missile
Hned taha naser albdre 6 shrapnel
Hnen kald uones alzbde 7 shrapnel
Hsen abas kathem alhsebe4 tank attack
Hsen fleh mhsen brea alshwele 4 bullets
Hsen zore agel 9 shrapnel
Husien ali hasun 5 shrapnel
Hussin ali hassen hameed 3 shrapnel
Ikbal hussien gameel 2 missile
Imaan zowaer oklaa 7 missile
Karar hameed abed ali 2 missile
Karar hussain mohammed 8 bullet
Karrar ali hasan 7 bomb
Karrar haider hamza 4.5 missile
Karrar salih ali almosany9 shrapnel
Kfran alaa krem 4 aircraft attack
Khaled ghally hasun 9 missile
Khaled ghally hasun 5 missile
Khawla ali abed alrahman 9 missile
Khtan nage adnan 6 shrapnel
Kela nama mke 2 shrapnel
Kena ali hirat 5 tank attack
Lwae sbar sbe 2 shrapnel
Mahdey abed al-atheem 1.6 missile
Mahdi ahmed mahdi alanze 1 shrapnel
Maher sami hirat 6 tank attack
Mahmooed shaker abed hassan 8 missile
Maitham haseeb jasem 3 missile
Mareej ali saddam 7 bomb
Mastafa mhmed kathem aliseny 8 shrapnel
Meth gbar kreg 9 shrapnel
Mhmed abd alhsen easen 5 bullets
Mhmed adel abas alashbal 2 aircraft attack
Mhmed ali kathem hmde alhasanawe 9 tank attack
Mhmed dham kasem 6 shrapnel
Mhmed fleh mhasan alshwele 1.6 bullets
Mhmed gasem gabir alasbhe 5 tank attack
Mhmed hamed abd ala 8 tank attack
Mhmed kathem abd hashem 4 shrapnel
Mhmod abhem hashem alnaeme 5 shrapnel
Mhmod mhmod ali hmade 9 tank attack
Mksm nthem abd alrzalk hsen 5 shrapnel
Mntser wathek gaseb alale 7 shrapnel
Mntther heder saed 2 shrapnel
Mohamad abass abd ali rahan 4 missle attack
Mohamad marzuk farhan al-ajme six months bullets
Mohamed aalawi kadem hamza 2 shrapnel
Mohamed ali kadem hamzaa 2 bomb
Mohamed baaker ali kadem 2 missile
Mradi abas kathem alhsebe 7 tank attack
Mream saed abd saed 7 shrapnel
Mrem adel awda alhmrany 5 bullets
Mrttha adel mahdi alaskrat 2 shrapnel
Mrttha wathek gaseb 4 shrapnel
Mrwa dham kasem 9 shrapnel
Msafer adnan gaber alaskre 6 shrapnel
Mstfa hasan twfek 3 burns
Mstfa jlel salm dhsh alkerane 7 shrapnel
Mstfa naem mhmed slman 6 aircraft attack
Mstfa saad aldleme 6 shrapnel
Muhamed ibraheem mezr salman alsheemary 9 shrapnel
Muhamed shaker abed al-hassan 7 missile
Muktada abas nahey 5 bomb
Murtadhaa aayad taleb 2 missile
Murtaza abas saddam 7 bomb
Mustafa abed alameera 9 bomb
Nagham abaas nahi 8 bomb
Nathem hamed mshkwol 1.5 shrapnel
Nawraas hasun akrook 7 missile
Neemah juadd kazem 5 shrapnel
Nermeen kasem Mohamed 9 missile
Nethem hbeb gasem alsaade four months shrapnel
Noor saad six months missile
Noora fatah ismael 5 bullet
Nora dakel lfta alfade 6 shrapnel
Ogal gwad kathem alasbae 6 burns
Raafet sami hirat 2 tank attack
Rahman abas 9 shrapnel
Ramlah rashid ahmad 9 missile
Ream abd alslam shnn 4 shrapnel
Reath gbar sbke 1 tank attack
Resel mohamad rathe al-ardawy 4 shrapnel
Rhman shref shmke 9 burns
Rkea hmza mnshad alhgebe eleven months bullets
Rkea hmza mnshad alhgebe eight months shrapnel
Rswl ahmed hdkan fhd alsaode 9t ank attack
Russel hamza taleb 6 missile
Saab kasem fathel 9 shrapnel
Saad agel gbar haef 5 tank attack
Saad kamal aajel 9 missile
Saadia ali thabit 9 missile
Saif saad 6 missile
Sajad wisam hasan 5 shrapnel
Sakrah kasem 8 missile
Salem mahdey jabber 7 shrapnel
Sbah azez hashem mhmed alkzale 7 shrapnel
Sef mhmod ali hmade 7 tank attack
Sgad heder saed 5 shrapnel
Sgad hsen usef 7 shrapnel
Sgad kathem kaze 8 shrapnel
Sgad wsam hasan alabraheme 5 shrapnel
Shed agel anber alabade 6 shrapnel
Sheerin hashim naaem 9 bomb
Shfaa baker kzaal alkfage 9 shrapnel
Shhed kne abd alhasan 8 tank attack
Shhed kne abd alhasan alkrkele 7 tank attack
Shtha mke name 9 shrapnel
Slema fwad kzer 8 shrapnel
Tabarek hamzaa taleb four months missile
Taha saeed abas 9 tank attack
Taher adel mhmed abd ala alkrsan 9 tank attack
Tba ali hasan 1 shrapnel
Theaa smer gbar maged 5 shrapnel
Thha heder slman abed 3 shrapnel
Tho alfkar gbar hade almgtwme 7 tank attack
Tho alfkar shaker gaber aljbore 9 shrapnel
Tkea hnmed ghed fthan 3 shrapnel
Tmara mahdi srhan alankome 1.3 shrapnel
Warda haidr hassan 6 missile
Wrda kald uones alzbde 5 shrapnel
Yasser farouq foaad nine months bomb
Yosef mezher musa al-ardawy 7 shrapnel
Zahraa abed kasem 9 missile
Zahraa mohamed munear 6 missile
Zaid ali kadem hamza 1.5 shrapnel
Zaineb fadel sabaah 7 bullet
Zayen al-aabeadeen 2 bomb
Zaynab faalah hassan 6 shrapnel
Zaynab mosleh ali 3 bullet
Zeaa saleem abdul sadaa 9 shrapnel
Zeen al-aabdeen kareem 6 bomb
Zenab gasem same 9 shrapnel
Zenab heder saed 3 shrapnel
Zenab kasem fathel 8 aircraft attack
Zey alfoqar omran 8 shrapnel
Zhra gwad kathem alasbae 6 burns
Zhra talad kder hmod 7 shrapnel
Zhraa abd gasem 5 shrapnel
Zhraa ahmed hdkan fhd alsaode 6 tank attack
Zhraa ali hsen 8 aircraft attack
Zhraa dham kasem fleh 3 burns
Zhraa hsen mften alhasanawe 7 shrapnel
Zhraa mhmed kder 7 shrapnel
Zina ali hirat 3 tank attack
Zmen alabden klel thaef eight months aircraft attack
Zoher dakhel lafta al-daamy 3 burns
Zuhair alali hussien nine months shock
it continues

FOR WEB SEARCHES:
http://www.iraqbodycount.org/
http://www.squidoo.com/deadbabies#module2857937
http://www.justforeignpolicy.org/iraq/iraqdeaths.html
http://civilians.info/iraq/

I am suprised we all don't go crazy all the time

2009-03-02T15:27:00.000-08:00

latex

2009-02-26T10:05:00.000-08:00

This is to carry your broken heart in one combination I am trying out.

I completed all the cutting and gluing on this bag, yesterday. The last one is always make it my favorite. I am sure I am not alone in loving the last thing I have done... that, or, loving the next thing, the idea... or the thing I am working on, the thing I am touching. Loving the present or stages of the future.

This also shows the final (so far) display that I have chosen. The straps are final... in-fact I have now finalized 6 bags and 4 hearts, with 4 more hearts about 80% done.

everything was strange and new

2009-01-22T14:12:00.000-08:00

The beginners mind... keep all preconceptions at bay... not only does it help to connect to the work at hand but also to see when enough is enough... not to over work, which I have a tendency to desire.

binding you to me

2009-01-17T15:00:00.000-08:00

putting humpty dumpty back together

2009-01-16T12:35:00.000-08:00

a statement

2009-01-16T12:28:00.000-08:00

The series to carry your broken heart is a multidisciplinary meditation on finding peace within tragedy, fear and loss. It is not completely the question of how we endure: but, how we find the grace to become pieced together again, to prevail at forgiving, others and ourselves.

This series is also a meditation on the commoditization of feeling, and by extension a meditation on what fits into the category of art and that of commodity. When there is a large national tragedy, the nation is told to go out and shop. This project is as much a comment on retail therapy and the fetishization of comodity, as it is a receptacle for those emotions we turn our heads to hide. In this way, the experiential nature of the objects becomes cathartic.

To carry your broken heart consists of heavy, anatomical hearts made of metal, broken and mended hearts made of cement and gypsum, and rubber semi-translucent hearts. These are housed in what looks to be a purse, or clutch or handbag of sorts. The design is articulated with a close fit so that bags themselves suggest what is inside.

the nature of broken hearts

2008-12-16T22:21:00.000-08:00

They are all breaking...

I can pinpoint certain conditions and outcomes. I think I can narrow down some specifics... and I have ideas to try for the next time.

As for the cement... I recommend at least 9 minutes of mechanical mixing, I will try 3 slush casts with mixing and perhaps tapping but I will have to see on that one... not more than 30 sec. over night heating @ 100. Do not be impatient.

remember: 1 kilowatt = 1 pound of coal burned

2008-11-26T14:21:00.000-08:00

sewing up your heart

2008-11-20T11:56:00.000-08:00

Ok,

I do not know what it, I am having the devil of a time trying to get theses done right. I am now going to tack everything together so there will be less puzzling and more straightforward sewing. I have the seams up and they come in at a triangle. I think that is a tricky thing to sew correctly.

aging

2008-07-29T13:59:00.000-07:00

I first used an antiquing patina on the outside of this sculpture.

For the inside, I brushed on cuperic sulfate. I had to brush on and wash off several times.

I also got a lot of whitish crystals. I used several abrasives to remove.

The last time, I used an ultrasonic cleaner and dish soap. Then, I brushed on more cuperic sulfate and a final rub with 3M abrasive cloth.

On this one, you can see some of the heat patina I achieved when pouring from the tin can.

to melt my heart

2008-04-11T14:29:00.000-07:00

Gravity casting a low melt alloy of bismuth and tin into RTV silicone.

I have a laugh at myself, melting metal in a coffee can, an angle iron attached to it for the handle. Yet, while reading a book of interviews given by David Sylvester with american artists, I remarked at a comment Robert Rauschenberg made. He was talking about on the goat in one of is combines. It seems that some viewer sat on it during an exhibit and broke one of its legs. That in it self is noteworthy and makes my smile widen; yet, it was his statement after, saying that with his "at-home craftsmanship" he could not repair it properly (to avoid changing it's over all appearance) and had to send it to a taxidermist. That at-home craftsmanship is what struck me. There is a balance there that has always interested me.

owie

2008-02-14T12:57:00.000-08:00

I have been playing with the hearts lately, finding images to fill the cavity. My 2 year old son picked one up from the table, held the two parts in his hands and says, "owie". And I reply, "Yes, That is a kind of owie."

pursuit of something other

2008-02-05T13:25:00.000-08:00

I wonder how much time is spent on the wrong pursuits because it is easier or feels better in the right now. Even the gut can fool. At times you must fight and kick and scratch and curse just to stay on the high ground.

get happy

2008-01-30T18:31:00.000-08:00

The best way, or at least one way, to change the way I am thinking is action.
The Making. The white grounds which are sacrificed to the pigment. They comprise repetitive actions in which I need to take great care; yet, the decisions are bound by minimalism.

I mix rabbit skin glue 3 parts to 2 parts chalk from Champagne. I do need to have a tweezer handy for any stray hair from the Gesso brush.
I consider them my little Robert Ryman's. You can see this traditional ground does not go on very smooth so after it drys I sand it and add another coat in the opposite direction. I do this around 5 or 6 times, which gives me a really creamy surface, without being too polished.

distinction

2008-01-29T14:00:00.000-08:00

There is no settling down, not so nice and tidy, not so sure... suddenly uncertainty. The possible mortality of the character that has been created over a lifetime. An image built up by the surrounding society, built with mortar and bricks, steel cable and concrete; yet now swaying, fluid with movement. What once seemed limitless now feels stunted. Ahh there it is, find a way to stabilize, a stable path, a support system or something to throw into the void.

the power to reconnect

2008-01-22T16:25:00.000-08:00

I was at Safeway, reading to Leo from the children's books, when I saw a photo-journal type book, Crazy sexy Cancer Tips. It was 8 X 10 formatted, a nice book to hold, with tips on how to stay positive, among other things. It was written by a woman and the photos were mostly of her. She seemed happy in the ones I saw. I could not spend much time on it because I was also teaching Leo...green tractor, red tractor. I was immediately connected... not only to the ultimate end but to everything. To the here and now. The death potential as the connector. I am assuming she is a survivor. I am happy for that... it would almost be too much to bear if you connect with a woman's struggle over 2 to 300 pages, repleat with positivity and photos, in the end, only to find there is an afterward... It is like the back story to Confederacy of Dunces or the movie Waitress. Perhaps the large tragedies make our small tragedies bearable. Or we get stuck on things like this because we assume a long life, taking our time, getting around to it. When, in fact, we should take our time because there is not much of it and that is the best way to spend it.

trying to make your heart skip a beat

2008-01-18T13:49:00.000-08:00

The heart rate of a blue-throated humming bird is 1260 beats per minute. While this one has green on its chest, not blue, I am sure its heart beats fast.

It is said that all animals have generally the same number of heartbeats in their lifetimes. While this is not exactly true, the human and the chicken each have about 2 billion heartbeats in a life of average longevity.

I have heart murmurs.

to carry your broken heart, v1

2008-01-17T09:32:00.000-08:00

This was the first leather I choose. Stressing the purple leather further brings out the connection to a purple heart.

I am very much comfortable talking/writing about the making, the process that goes into my work; yet, there is an intricate conceptual basis that precedes the making.

This gives me direction.

Just a few days ago, perhaps a week now, I discovered social ecology. I did a little web research and while I do not promote anarchy, these guys have some strong points. What social ecology led me to is something called deep experiential ecology. (they must have taken their name before the SNL skit deep thoughts) In any case, Joanna Macy's work is profound, and remarkably like what I am doing with this series. Her sight can be found here: http://www.joannamacy.net/

I think now more then ever the need for healing one's unresolved emotions is present everywhere I look.

Check the early stage of the straps in this one!

to carry your broken heart, v2

2008-01-16T11:18:00.000-08:00

I know some are reluctant to talk about their works in progress. Me, I need to. Or at least want to. It is like tasting the cookie batter. I do not worry too much about others influences or some other concerns. I have thought up and down about all aspects, so I know the directions of my path. However, there are times that I want to test my visual communication skills. I ask my viewers what their thoughts are; or, mostly what happens is, someone says "oh, I like that one". I ask why what does is feel like to you, or what does it say to you or why are you attracted to it. Most of the time they get exactly what I am trying to put forward. At times, there is something that I may want to tweak, to get that idea or feeling accross. My works come from the world and go out into the world, so a little testing is not so bad. I have lots of friends who paint or sculpt or what ever. Even though their art is vastly different, there are time I think of what I would do if their art was my art. I am happy that most of them, if not appreciate my input, at least tolerate it!

For this, I am still working on the straps, and on the heart inside, the lining and on the inside of the heart, as well. It is coming together. FYI, this project started out manifesting itself as a crocheted bag... kind of like the Sak. It started when Jodi was pregnant. I had a little time, so I got some lessons from friends and taught myself how to crochet. The feeling of the bag was all wrong though. It sort of reminded me of a testicle. I did want the feeling of a fetish item, but not that particular fetish. Besides that, the feeling was way too craft oriented. I wanted the idea to come though and not necessarily the hand-made-ness.

in search of giant purism, v1

2008-01-15T13:55:00.000-08:00

version 1

study for: the dailyness of pain and play

2008-01-15T13:49:00.000-08:00

neg 2, version A

study for: the dailyness of pain and play

2008-01-15T13:46:00.000-08:00

neg 1, version b

grinding black

2008-01-15T12:54:00.000-08:00

I am embarking on a project called god loves her children. It is made up of gum dichromate on panel works just like in search of giant purism, below. The imagery comes from the So Cal fires that happened a few months ago. While I was down there, I gathered charred wood from some of the houses, shelters, the landscape and a church that burned to the ground. You can see in the video above, I am taking the charcoaled wood and grinding it to a fine powder. I will use this carbon black as my pigment to make the gum prints of the photographs I captured of the aftermath of the fires.

in search of giant purism

2008-01-15T11:58:00.000-08:00

Here are some studio shots from the progress of in search of giant purism.

The first two are the anti-chamber of my studio. The space where I do most of my sanding and mixing of pigment and all the really messy stuff (mostly).

You can see the colman stove I use to heat up the double boiler. In the pot now is the rabbit skin glue. There is a scent to it, but it is mild and I guess I am used to it. I guess it smells like work.

This is a shot of one of the purisms being made. I think it is on its third printing. The shot is looking toward the door of the anti-chamber. In the back ground is the support for dailyness.

newborn dreams

2008-01-15T11:29:00.000-08:00

Newborn dreams is the working title of the exhibit I have in progress. Do humans dream in utero? If so, I wonder what the dreams are made up of? Certainly, the images are not of this world.